here are some recent texts from my translator for your enjoyment:
"If u wait for happy moments, u will wait forever. But if u start believing that u r happy, u will be happy forever.-- wish u happiness forever.... goodmorning"
"You know what is the most beautiful part of our friendship....
[scroll 30 lines or so]
see the first letter of this msg..."
"I HATE THE WORD FRIEND AS IT HAS THE WORD. . . 'END' IN IT. I DON'T WANT AN END IN OUR RELATIONSHIP"
and those are just the really good ones.
10.29.2010
10.28.2010
eat
I miss food.
I mean, the food is here is good, but I get so tired of it. Rice, rice, rice. I mean, I suppose I eat the same food over and over again at home too but it's food that I'm used to, not Indian food.
I miss bread. Ooo I closed my eyes last night and imagined being in a bakery and picking out the freshest loaf with just the right amount of crackling on top and warmth inside. And I never truly appreciated as I did then the genius of putting that bread in a paper bag... how perfectly the smell of paper and bread go together, and the crinkling of the paper just hints at what awaits... if you can bear not to tear a big chunk of it off before you get home... which I never managed to do. Dede and I would always eat at least a quarter of the loaf before even getting to breakfast. Hehehe, oh mischevious dede.
10.24.2010
blame the zeester
I was so convinced that the universe did not want me to do this research. My translator never showed up (twice), the auto driver who knows the way to the obscure village I need to get to has turned off his phone, and the recording action on this teensy machine broke-- not to mention the previous failures I've had with interviews. I almost cried because of the damned voice recorder.
Bill, the sweetheart he is, let me borrow his recorder for the day since I was going back to the village that day in hopes of interviewing the old bare-breasted grandma in her palm-thatched hut. She wasn't there, so I interviewed Vasi instead, and as it turns out, she didn't want to be recorded.
Life is funny.
Time is passing so quickly! Every day is packed! I barely have time to think anymore, and I think I'm starting to have nightmares about finishing this project. What if there's nothing behind this whole tattooed women thing? What if I can't figure it out?! I was going to go to Pondicherry and check out the intentional community in Auroville this upcoming weekend but I don't think I have time! Maybe I'll go to Chennai a day before my flight out and check out Pondy then.
OOO zeynep is online. talk to you later!
10.18.2010
21
Yesterday was the day after Saraswati Puja (the last day of Navaratri), and it is said to be an auspicious day for new beginnings.
I began the day with prayer and a nice (cold) bucket shower and cycled over to SITA for my very first venu lesson. It went slowly, but eventually I got a note out! Then I spent a lazy afternoon at the apartment, reading, knitting, enjoying fried fish for lunch. At around 3:30, Aafreen insisted that I play with her on the roof. When I came back down, I was bounded with shouts of SURPRISE!
Nisha, my host mom, had called all of my friends over to have a party :) The cake was actually very good and the crazy butane flower candle nearly burned the place down... that may be a bit exaggerated.
I had a really nice time! I didn't expect it at all, especially because she had said that she couldn't do anything for my birthday because her family would be here. Sneaky!
We ended up going to the rooftop restaurant at the Hotel Metropole (it looks shwankier from the ground than up there).
It certainly felt auspicious.
I began the day with prayer and a nice (cold) bucket shower and cycled over to SITA for my very first venu lesson. It went slowly, but eventually I got a note out! Then I spent a lazy afternoon at the apartment, reading, knitting, enjoying fried fish for lunch. At around 3:30, Aafreen insisted that I play with her on the roof. When I came back down, I was bounded with shouts of SURPRISE!
Nisha, my host mom, had called all of my friends over to have a party :) The cake was actually very good and the crazy butane flower candle nearly burned the place down... that may be a bit exaggerated.
I had a really nice time! I didn't expect it at all, especially because she had said that she couldn't do anything for my birthday because her family would be here. Sneaky!
We ended up going to the rooftop restaurant at the Hotel Metropole (it looks shwankier from the ground than up there).
It certainly felt auspicious.
10.15.2010
Secrets
5:30am
Alarm caterwauls
5:40
I realize that the voice trying to get me back to sleep too easily has much power. I wake myself up in protest.
5:45
Cycling to yoga... Madurai is quiet before 6am. The dust has settled, and only a few people tread the streets. I felt like Madurai was telling me her greatest secret-- morningtime.
6:00
Arrive at Sivananda Vedanta Ashram. Slip off shoes and sneak in quietly to the back while they are performing the daily puja to Siva and the gurus. Receive prasad (cashew!)
6:01
Quickly realize that I am the only girl there today. I usually go in the evenings with a friend, and theres only 5 or so students plus the teacher. Apparently mornings are very popular, especially with middle aged men.
6:10
Morning meditation is not going so well. The mat I have chosen is apparently also a mosquito army base. I hope I didnt bother others with my itching and scratching and slapping away.
6:40
Stretching. Oh man. Those core workouts have made me so tight. Uh oh.
7:00
After about 15 rounds of sun salutations, we're getting into the more difficult postures. I can't seem to balance well enough to get into Shirshasana or Halasana. I give up and look around the class to see them ALL like candlesticks, perfectly balanced on their heads. The 50 year old man next to me is getting fancy now, making a V with his legs, then a diamond shape..... grumble grumble. Ow, my head.
7:30
I finally do one of the asanas correctly (Ardha Matsyendrasana), and my teacher comes by and says something along the lines of, "oh yes! a pose you can do!". He smiles, but I don't find it so amusing.
8:00
Sigh of relief. The biggest yoga fail is finally over. I think I'll treat myself to a dosa for breakfast.
8:30
Sri Saravana restaurant is bustling with men having their morning meal before work. I polish off my cup of coconut chutney that has accompanied the (extra)large restaurant-style dosa (the ones at home are usually small, like the size of a hard taco shell if it were flattened). I ask the waiter for more, and instead of going to the kitchen, he goes over to the next table where 4 men are lapping away their idly (the white spaceship-y ones) and vadai (spicy fried dough(nut...not)), grabs one of their idle cups for me. How sweet. You know that they had used it, and here that means with the only utensils available, their hands. I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. I was surprised, but went along. If anything, I've learned just that... ride the bus, go with the flow, accept and move on. A bus passing by just 2 inches from my handlebars? Meh. Coming home to a surprise roommate for three days? OK. Getting the wrong order at a restaurant? Yummy. No worries, I'll survive.
Alarm caterwauls
5:40
I realize that the voice trying to get me back to sleep too easily has much power. I wake myself up in protest.
5:45
Cycling to yoga... Madurai is quiet before 6am. The dust has settled, and only a few people tread the streets. I felt like Madurai was telling me her greatest secret-- morningtime.
6:00
Arrive at Sivananda Vedanta Ashram. Slip off shoes and sneak in quietly to the back while they are performing the daily puja to Siva and the gurus. Receive prasad (cashew!)
6:01
Quickly realize that I am the only girl there today. I usually go in the evenings with a friend, and theres only 5 or so students plus the teacher. Apparently mornings are very popular, especially with middle aged men.
6:10
Morning meditation is not going so well. The mat I have chosen is apparently also a mosquito army base. I hope I didnt bother others with my itching and scratching and slapping away.
6:40
Stretching. Oh man. Those core workouts have made me so tight. Uh oh.
7:00
After about 15 rounds of sun salutations, we're getting into the more difficult postures. I can't seem to balance well enough to get into Shirshasana or Halasana. I give up and look around the class to see them ALL like candlesticks, perfectly balanced on their heads. The 50 year old man next to me is getting fancy now, making a V with his legs, then a diamond shape..... grumble grumble. Ow, my head.
7:30
I finally do one of the asanas correctly (Ardha Matsyendrasana), and my teacher comes by and says something along the lines of, "oh yes! a pose you can do!". He smiles, but I don't find it so amusing.
8:00
Sigh of relief. The biggest yoga fail is finally over. I think I'll treat myself to a dosa for breakfast.
8:30
Sri Saravana restaurant is bustling with men having their morning meal before work. I polish off my cup of coconut chutney that has accompanied the (extra)large restaurant-style dosa (the ones at home are usually small, like the size of a hard taco shell if it were flattened). I ask the waiter for more, and instead of going to the kitchen, he goes over to the next table where 4 men are lapping away their idly (the white spaceship-y ones) and vadai (spicy fried dough(nut...not)), grabs one of their idle cups for me. How sweet. You know that they had used it, and here that means with the only utensils available, their hands. I couldn't help but laugh at the situation. I was surprised, but went along. If anything, I've learned just that... ride the bus, go with the flow, accept and move on. A bus passing by just 2 inches from my handlebars? Meh. Coming home to a surprise roommate for three days? OK. Getting the wrong order at a restaurant? Yummy. No worries, I'll survive.
10.12.2010
new friends
I made numerous non-human friends while on tour, including:
a rat in our compartment on the night train
kittens at the cafe
cockroaches in the hotel bathroom
and this adorable dog who sat quietly by and protected me while at the bangalore train station
a rat in our compartment on the night train
kittens at the cafe
cockroaches in the hotel bathroom
and this adorable dog who sat quietly by and protected me while at the bangalore train station
 |
| waiting for the train back to madurai |
10.11.2010
mawkish me
It's one of those days...
I realize how utterly and helplessly human I am. I dont mean to make that word seem so crude, but in a way, it is. The past two weeks has been so.. social. That's a strange feeling for me.
In some ways, I greatly enjoy humanity, the visceral throbbing of life through my core. I'm so bound to this earth, these surroundings, adapting, acting, etc. I feel deeply those feelings that only humans are susceptible to-- love, compassion, mourning, nostalgia,.. Now is when I find that in order for me to find balance I must let go of some of these links and relationships.
I dont want to let go of my humanity. I want to feel. And yet, I need to be detached so that I can allow my self to move freely beyond this space.
I'm still searching for my bliss. I have an inkling of happiness within myself, but now I search for the instrument that will play truthfully how I interpret this world.
I realize how utterly and helplessly human I am. I dont mean to make that word seem so crude, but in a way, it is. The past two weeks has been so.. social. That's a strange feeling for me.
In some ways, I greatly enjoy humanity, the visceral throbbing of life through my core. I'm so bound to this earth, these surroundings, adapting, acting, etc. I feel deeply those feelings that only humans are susceptible to-- love, compassion, mourning, nostalgia,.. Now is when I find that in order for me to find balance I must let go of some of these links and relationships.
I dont want to let go of my humanity. I want to feel. And yet, I need to be detached so that I can allow my self to move freely beyond this space.
I'm still searching for my bliss. I have an inkling of happiness within myself, but now I search for the instrument that will play truthfully how I interpret this world.
10.02.2010
finals
I think that if the SITA staff were to have implanted a secret camera in the computer lab for finals week, I could have become an Indian reality tv show star. Put 6 college kids in a room for 2 days straight and tell them they have to have 20 pages written by the end of it... some ridiculous things were happening. I think we're all lucky that one of us didn't actually lose it. The computers here are comically slow. Yelling at the damned machine doesn't exactly help, but every once in a while, you'll hear someone's frustration and fruitless imploring. Some got close, but those gofrets (yes, i found imported gofret here!), gummy bears, and 8pm dance breaks pulled us through.
Now we're in here transcribing our first interviews. I realize now what a blubbering fool I sounded like. Oh well, next time will be better.
We're leaving for Mysore tonight!
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