I think I'm sad, but I can't really tell.

I've been feeling anxious lately. 

Change approaches fast-- I'm leaving Madurai soon to explore North India before making my way back down south for some time with Amma. 

I'm not exactly sure why I'm worried... I suppose it has something to do with leaving, but more so of what is to come in the next place. Am I trying too hard to find something? I don't even know what I'm looking for. I might as well give up searching and look around at what's here. 

Sorry for the recent lack in stories. I suppose what was so wild to me has become normal. Recent news I've neglected to tell:

- Ants infesting my room... I couldn't figure out why. 

- Getting hit by a (small) truck in traffic while on my cycle

- Enjoying the monsoon in my sari, which has yet to dry

- Finishing my final paper! (I still think it needs revisions, but I'll let it rest for now)

- Fady Amca calling me from Bangalore :)

- Ditching an autorickshaw in ridiculous traffic and walking all the way home

Each of these have their stories, but maybe I'll save them for later. 

If anyone wants to contact me, do it soon. I won't have my phone for travels, and internet use will be scarce. 

argh

damn it, why have i learned to appreciate vegetables?

i feel sick, in a way. ive only been eating carbs (rice, rice, rice), and fried stuff. and you know, "gravy", and god only knows whats in that.
i think im falling into a second wave of homesickness. but not of people. things. i want a sandwich. and some beer.
and NO MORE DAMNED HORNS honking day and night.
the stress of this week is getting to me. ive already eaten a jar of nutella. GROSS, i know.

procrastination

I think I'm starting to miss home.

Granted, I'm really happy to finally be writing up my findings, but I've been in this computer lab a bit too long.

It's not that I don't want to be here, I just want to be able to do certain things that I feel like I'm missing.

I want to work in Burling. I want to cook.. with fresh vegetables! and good meat! I want to play cello. I want to work out. I want to enjoy time with friends. I want to sit by an open window. I want to walk around without having to hold my breath, and enjoy greenery instead of dust and concrete.

After this week, I'm really excited to spend some free time with my host family-- Nisha and I have been getting along a lot better. She laughs at my jokes, mostly.
Then time really starts rolling, as we do presentations, say our goodbyes, and travel!
Ok, maybe I'm missing freedom more than anything.

holidays

Halloween weekend was great!
John threw a party, and the theme was "Dead Harry Potter Characters".... yesss.
I went as Bellatrix Lestrange. Teasing my hair made the whole look. Everyone's costumes were really creative... they kind of had to be because of limited resources/clothing options. Dobby, Dumbledore/Quirrell, Potter, Trelawny, and even a golden snitch!
There was butterbeer (that we had brewed ourselves!), polyjuice potion, and Merope Gaunt brought some love potions to share (ie: mystery drinks in covered bottles: lemon juice, tobasco, hazelnut white russian)-- "Sometimes love is sour, sometimes love is mildly intoxicating."
Nearly Headless Nick was there and started a cake fight, because thats all that Indian "cake" is good for. (it tastes like a brillo pad made from sugar).

This Friday is Diwali (deepavali).
I wore a sari today that I had gotten for the holiday...
HOW DO THESE WOMEN DO IT EVERY DAY? oh my goodness. It is sooo much fabric! 6 meters worth, actually! It is nice, but I feel like at any second its just all going to fall apart.
My host mom wouldn't let me cycle in it this morning. She drove me to school. I would have won SO many points on Tamil Trail... sigh.
My host dad took pictures of me this morning and said he would send them to Baba and say how they're marrying me off.... I told him, sure, if you want him to show up at your doorstep within 36 hours. hehehe.

Ok, back to work. I have to start writing my paper today... I don't exactly know where to start. Our rough drafts are due in one week, and the final due two days after that. GAH. wish me luck!